Marketing strategies...

...selling Dreams to a certified Control Freak could be a dicey proposition, but what a rush if one succeeded...

--and an even bigger rush if one were the control freak in question, and could make the dreams reality...

I can, and I have. Time to get back to I Do

"We all make Choices"

I've been Sorting again, mostly with an eye to consolidating my worldly belongings as I deal with the latest bad attack of wanderlust. In the last two years, I've discovered I can exist quite happily for a month at a time with only what I can fit into my "Dead Body" suitcase and a daypack. Admittedly I've done this by living in a place where the climate is mild and there are laundry facilities--but there were also the considerations of being reasonably well groomed while on duty, and comfortable off-duty. I managed, quite happily!

So I'm looking round myself and asking what's so important about all the "stuff" in my life. I like creating beautiful things. I like existing among beautiful things, but right at the moment I don't have a real desire to OWN lots of beautiful things. (This is probably an overreaction to my current job and the overwhelming conclusion I've reached that all the unhappy, frustrated people I listen to and try to help night after night are practicing "retail therapy"--and it doesn't appear to be working.) Since I can only try to help them with the obvious issues, and it would be presumptuous to ask if those are the "real" issues, I'm spending time addressing my own. I CAN do something about them.

So there I was, Sorting. Gotta watch that. I have a tendency to print out, or write up what bothers me and needs more consideration--and then I lose it in my vast, disorganised memory box. I ran across one of those time bombs, a letter from one of my dearly loved brothers, and read it because , I cherish them. Urk. I didn't save it because it was a nice letter; it was a rather sweeping condemnation, and completely took my breath away at the time I received it. I remember crying myself to sleep over it. Now? Well, I'm writing about it, because it ties into some of the decisions I made years ago, and have recently spent some time re-examining.

Early in her career as a psych person, my mother told me it was better to sort out one's issues with the originator, or one would feel compelled to find similar situations over and over again till one had resolved them. They were painful enough the first time, thanks. I've found a mentor since then, and a number of very strong role models who are willing to listen, and support, and give me loving feedback right between the eyes when its necessary--and then be there while I work it through. That's key. My own philosophy is not to drop any bombs unless I plan to be 'round to deal with the fallout. That means deciding the outcome is important--REALLY important. As for the time bomb? I read it, and shredded it.--and decided the decisions of years ago still stand. I am responsible for my actions, and also for my reactions. Truly, as long as I like the person in the mirror, I'm doing all right.

One of my last reality checks from my mentor is still resonating. If anything, its picked up a whole series of harmonics, in the way that Very Important Statements do. "Honor And Acknowledge". Her point was that I should consider carefully before I put myself in any more situations which were hurtful because the persons I was with couldn't see me, and celebrate me for who I am. The harmonics have developed because I have first to Honor and Acknowledge myself. The person I see in the mirror these days is a bit tired(usually) and a bit stressed(almost always), but I also see real humor, and a joy of life, and confidence. That, I can work with--and other things will follow. As for time bombs? They make a wonderful, ripping, crunching noise as they run through the shredder. I Choose, to See ME!

Stress Management

NO!!!

Clearly I need to work on the stress management. My jaw feels as if its broken. TMJ is a bitch. Much better perhaps to just BE a bitch next time someone is excessively aggressive and nasty?

Idle conversation

On the patio last night, from one of the guys: "how long is your hair when you don't have it all tied up?"

a hand gesture indicating the length

one of the ladies: "that IS long! to the guy who'd asked the question: "what, do you wish you had it?"

him: "no, I just want to brush it!" me, laughing, "why thank you!"

There is such a thing as... Being Overly Analytical

"Let's hear it for the Sad Boys,

and yes for the Bad Boys;

The ones who would *need* us,

and the ones who would *lead* us

...astray?"

"Let's hear it for Choices,

made 'midst clamoring Voices,

all laid out before us,

that contentious chorus,

of *Should do's*, and *Oughts*,

and *Must Do's* and *Nots*...

Yeh, there is such a thing as being overly analytical...When I look at all the things I've accomplished--and all the things yet to be accomplished, I could have gotten here by a more direct route but I would have missed a great deal.

Time, once again, to pull up my socks and get on with it.

...hang the socks, I really prefer anklets and toenail polish...